Random Thoughts:

1. Sometimes I wish someone at the hospital had made an error in writing my name on my birth certificate. I love my name, but if the nurse who was filling it out had dyslexia or was afflicted with a severe, intermittent palsy and added an extra –es at the end of my name, I would be Jameses Andrew Eustice. I could be Jameses the Great, like some transplanted Egyptian pharaoh of old. Wouldn’t that make my life exponentially more interesting?

2. Novelty products like the pet rock or astronaut ice cream appear from some distant Elysium, where the mothers of invention give birth to innovations not fertilized by necessity, but by pure decadence. Nobody needs a Snuggy or a vegetable peeler that peels on a down-stroke and an up-stroke. So, let me be the first to invent one of the novelty items. Dehydrated water! Isn’t this a fantastic idea? I’d be the first to literally sell nothing for money. How many idiots do you think will buy this stuff? I can’t believe I was the first person to th-…hold on, I have a phone call..

Hey Reg, what’s up? I’m in the middle of writing a post.
(pause)
Uh-huh. Yeah, I’m okay, but what was so urgent?
(pause)
Yeah, dehydrated water! How great is that?
(pause)
What do you mean?
(pause)
No…that’s not right. Impossible.
(pause)
Shit! Well, thanks for letting me know. I need to get back to the post. Talk to you later, Reg.
(pause)
(sigh) I love you, too, Reg.

Sorry about that. My good friend Reginald C. Hopscotch tells me that I’m not the first one to blaze the dehydrated water trail. Well done, www.buydehydratedwater.com, well done. You’ve won this round.