Against Offices

I'm convinced that whatever created us, whether it be God or something more powerful and mysterious, it did not intend for human beings to work in an office environment.



Consider the gas situation, and this is one of many situations like this.

If you're sitting at work and start having horrible gas, you have to go all the way across the building to the public bathroom, where you're forced to serenade a bunch of random people in stalls with your body's natural, gaseous symphony. One of the most natural and pure acts is relegated to the semi-privacy of the gray-tiled darkness of corporate bathrooms.

I submit that if we humans were meant to work in an office that we'd have found a more suitable way to deal with body gas. Since we have not yet evolved sufficiently, I submit that all offices be moved either outside or all workers be allowed to expel their own gas openly. I'd prefer the offices being moved outside, but either way, we will overcome!