I've known Doug Roberts for a long time. There are some simple facts you should know about him, too.
One amazing thing about Doug is that he moonlights as a turtle prostitute. Don't ask me why he does it, but I speculate that it's neither the money nor the control that he's addicted to, but the thrill of it. I can't say that old lady excitement has sunk her talons into my shoulder, but she has a firm grasp on Mister Roberts.
He claims that he can quit whenever he wants, but I know that's a lie he's telling himself. Every time we watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I see a glimmer in his eye and a reminiscent smirk cracked on his face, I know the truth. Doug has fallen prey to these insatiable beasts.
It hasn't interfered with his life...yet. I just hope that when the cards drop (and they will!) that we'll be able to pick up the pieces.
I followed him one afternoon and snapped this photo, narrowly escaping with my life, so that you all would know the truth.
Keep your eyes peeled, dear readers. A friend's life may be at stake.
1 comment:
Profound.
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