Consumerism

I don't know what it is, but buying new stuff always makes me feel good.

Call it shallow.  Call it whatever you want.

I couldn't agree more.

But my new phone is really, really sweet.

On SCotUS and Tokenism

Orrin Hatch and many of the more vocal Republicans think that the President’s choice for the open SCotUS spot is another example of an unwanted liberal influence taking over the country. There seems to be a very palpable line of thought that Judge Sotomayor will use her considerable influence to sway the court toward an extremely liberal activism.

But how will she rock a boat that is already taking on water on its starboard side, submerged by the weight of the extremely conservative jurisprudence of Justices Scalia, Alito and Thomas?

Some are saying that President Obama’s decision is clouded by his desire to placate the Hispanic population. First, I think it’s worth mentioning that Sonia Sotomayor is a very smart person and seems to be able to uphold the law and precedence without letting her own opinions get in the way.

To say that Obama’s choice was based solely on race is ridiculous.

Not because it isn’t partially true, but because this certainly isn’t the first time it’s happened. Clarence Thomas was made an appellate judge against his wishes in 1989 and was, two years later, appointed as Thurgood Marshall’s replacement. George HW Bush said that Clarence Thomas was the only qualified black judge to take Marshall’s place.

Bush didn’t appoint Thomas in an attempt at tokenism. He appointed him because he was the most qualified: one of the prerequisites to getting the job seems to have been being black. Yes, Thomas has had to learn on the job a little, but he was a talented lawyer and politician before he was a judge. And he’s turned out to be a fine justice, maybe not as outspoken or popular as Scalia, but he hasn’t embarrassed anybody (like Harriet Meier might have).

Sotomayor’s being Hispanic is beyond the point. It doesn’t matter that she’s Hispanic: it matters that she’s the most talented and qualified. And in a time when the Hispanic population is growing exponentially, why shouldn’t the SCotUS be more representative of the population?

Goose Steppers

I almost ran over a goose today.  

I didn't mean to...well...

Maybe I kind of did.  I didn't want to actually run it over, but it was crossing the street after work (after its work, not mine, obviously) and I really wasn't in the mood to watch its dumbass waddle across the road.  So I sped up and almost nicked it before it slowly turned away from my soccermobile and I swerved the soccermobile into the next lane.

Naturally, the person in the opposite lane waiting for the goose to move honks at me and calls me an asshole.

So I stopped the soccermobile, got out and stabbed him in the throat with an old Husker Du cd, causing his candy apple gray blood to spray all over me and the goose!  How can you blame me for flipping my wig?  I was on my way to the zen arcade, then to the warehouse and I had to stop by the metal circus after that.  Alas, I didn't get to go to any of those places.  Everything falls apart, I guess.  I guess tomorrow is a new day rising.

(See what I did there?  Husker Du albums?  Anybody?  No?)

Okay...that was nonsense.  I didn't kill the guy, but I was pissed.  Not so much for being called an asshole, which has happened plenty of times (as I'm sure you can imagine), but for being made to feel as though I'm inferior to a goose.

There's no problem anthropomorphizing domestic animals like dogs or cats, but when we do it to wild animals we make a big mistake.

When I was a kid, I was chased and almost attacked by a goose.  

If you want to anthropomorphize them at least do an accurate job at it.

Geese are assholes.  They're greedy, they're mean, they're loud and they're stupid.

I don't care if they mate for life or if they migrate thousands of miles.

They're pests.  That's why they are being culled.  

So forgive me for almost running over a goose.  They'd do it to us if they could.

And PS...if they wanted to cross the street, why not just fly?  

RIGHT?!

Twitter

I don't consider myself late to many things.  I was listening to Lady Gaga seven or eight months ago before she was famous (or infamous: this crazy tart is pretty universally reviled.  Still...her shit is catchy) and I was on facebook before most of my friends.  I even turned 27 before a really large number of people.

See?

I'm with it.  I'm up on things.  I have my finger on the pulse of society.

So how come it's taken me so long to recognize the brilliance of Twitter?  

I need to get with it and start Twittering.  Wouldn't that be obnoxious and awesome of me?

Umm...Martin? Uhh...

Jamie Foxx to play Frank Sinatra

Umm...April Fools?

I like Jay Leno just fine.

Most of the time I prefer him to David Letterman, which among my friends would be somewhat taboo, but perfectly normal when one looks at Leno's ratings.

But tell me again why Leno gets an hour-long nightly show on NBC after Conan O'Brien takes over The Tonight Show?

Couldn't he just drift off into obscurity the way Carson did?

Sometimes i just want to get away from everybody.


Just get on a plane to somewhere, maybe Cornwall...maybe Cork...and fly away and not tell anybody.

I'd tell my folks because I think they'd be kind of sick with worry, but nobody else.

If they wanted to talk to me, they could find me.

Notre Dame

It seems to be so hard for the pro-life camp to understand that "pro-choice" doesn't mean "pro-baby-murder".  When I say that I am personally against abortion (as in I would not want the woman I impregnated to abort our child), but that I'm also pro-choice (as in it's not my decision whether you want to have a baby or not: I wish you did, but again...not my decision) I get strange looks and I often hear that I can only either be for it or against it.

Like if anybody actually read what President Obama said regarding abortion in his commencement address at Notre Dame, he's actually trying to make progress in this tooth-and-nail fight.  He's recognizing that both sides have strong opinions and valid beliefs, but also that each side clings to them with such steadfast stubbornness that they often dismiss the other side as murderers or ideologues.  

And President Obama is saying that we're doing it wrong.

He's recognizing that abortion is never, ever going to be criminalized (nor should it be), but he's also trying to compromise by making it more desirable to bring a child to term and helping to avoid unwanted pregnancies to begin with through education (of course, a lot of pro-lifers are also for abstinence-only sex ed, so...they want to have their cake and eat it too).

Sounds like a pretty good compromise to me.

So, in light of the absolute I'm given any time I talk about abortion (that I either believe in it or not), I've come up with my own absolute:

If you're against President Obama speaking at anywhere or doing anything because he's pro-choice, you're a jerk.  You just are.  Sorry.  He's trying to actually get something done with this divisive issue and you're protesting that...so you're a jerk.  Mr. Obama said up front that we can either have a president that does something or one that doesn't.  

Do you want 4 or 8 more years of one-sided political rhetoric instead of a thoughtful man who is trying his damnedest to do something good for this country?  He could easily abuse his significant power, but he's listening to everybody and coming up with a plan that's good for everybody.

So keep protesting him.  I'll still be here to call you a jerk.

Base Camp

I think it's safe to say that the age of broad innovation is coming to a close or has already passed for most of the ways in which we express ourselves.


I'm listening to a piano concerto by a Russian composer and it's phenomenal. I loved it the moment I first laid ears on it.

But after the last gasps of innovation float from the dying lungs of film and television and as music's flaming corpse finally succumbs to the cold depths of some northern sea, what will come next?



Could that be what the Mayans were talking about when they said in 2012 we would undergo a great change? When the Lumiere Brothers first screened one of their moving pictures didn't the collective paradigm shift for the whole world? Is it possible that we have reached our culture zenith?

So...what's next?
What can we expect?
Or are we doomed to a future where quality is overtaken by quality?

Where is our next Rachmaninov?
Or Kandinsky.
Or Salinger.
Or Malick.



Who will save our souls now?

Eight is Enough

Look...I'm not passing judgement on John, Kate or their unruly brood Pluseight. Their show is engaging enough (for a three-year-old) and I've watched it a few times.






But if I was John and I was around Pluseight and that shrewish ninny Kate, I'd have sought the wiles of another woman's bosom, too.



Just saying.

Back to Work!

Today at work, a woman sat at the office phone talking to multiple representatives of a company she continued to say "stole her money".


And while I admire the woman's persistance (stick-to-it-tiveness, people? Persistance. PERSISTANCE.), I can't help but wonder if $7.95 was worth the effort.

I'll tell you one thing:

I was about ready to give her the money back myself if she would sit back in her cube, shut the hell up and finish her work.

We think Hurricane Katrina was a disaster and to us, it was.

A year ago, today, an earthquake rocked (to borrow a much-used cliche) the Sichuan province, killing 69, 000 people.  Three zeros after that 69.  As in thousand.  Sixty-nine thousand.

So imagine the current student bodies (approximately) of Duke University and the University of Michigan disappearing.  You'd still have to add another 15,000 people to equal the number dead in that earthquake.  

It killed so many people that it's no longer considered an earthquake.  It's an Earthquake.

So the big question is this:

How big a leap did American society have to take that earthquakes, hurricanes, cyclones and other natural disasters seem to be considered more...inconveniences than legitimate life-changing events (with obvious exceptions)?

When Florida declares that a storm has such potentially dangerous after-effects that the government evacuates the area , we always hear of people staying in their houses to wait out the storm.  How serious are earthquakes in Los Angeles?  Or thunderstorms and floods in the DC area.

I remember when I was at school in Harrisonburg four or five years ago and we caught the tail end of a nasty tropical storm.  My girlfriend at the time and I played in the rain.  It was cool.  Some kid felt the same way and went canoeing in a lake, but met his match and drowned.  Except for that poor young man, it wasn't a big deal.

So how far do the less advanced countries of the world have to come technologically and socially that natural disasters is just a figure of speech?  Because in China and other less-developed countries, these events that we think of more as annoyances really are disasters.

What has to happen for that to stop?

Chee-Zee Oh Oh.

The other day I was at the rehearsal of a chorus that I’m in and Rachel Ray’s name came up. Immediately after her name was spoken, a cacophony of boos and hisses thundered down upon mine ears. I can’t say that I like Rachel Ray; I think she’s very…I’m aiming for delicacy…doable? Yeah. She’s very doable, she’s successful and she seems to have great taste in culture (if you pay attention, this becomes quite evident).

So why do so many people hate her?

What is there to hate about an ebullient, self-made media mogul who isn’t out to conquer the world, like Martha Stewart or Oprah, but more so to make our lives a little better: what is it?

Is there really anything to hate about her?

No, of course not. I feel like we collectively disdain her more because of who we are (or are not) than because of who she is.

She has it all together: a beautiful life, money, the ability to (within limits) do whatever she wants…


So is it just that we’re all really jealous of Rachel Ray?

I know I am.

Senator, just one more thing: love your suit!

 I watched The Silence of the Lambs last night for the first time in years.

I realize now, after years of film watching, that it is a flawless film.  Nothing in this film is unnecessary.  The script flows and sounds organic, as if these fully actualized characters were really speaking them.  The camerawork is subtle, but interesting.  The story is engaging.  It's horrifying, but also, at times, hilarious and playful.  It's well-cast...especially that under-appreciated Ted Levine as Jame Gumb.  I am shocked that he never received any kind of critical praise or awards.  

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that The Silence of the Lambs is among the best American movies to come out of the 1990s...and one could make an argument that it is the best.  I know...you're wondering how this could be better than Schindler's List.  Well...as fantastic, innovative and important as Schindler's List is, The Silence of the Lambs never falters, especially not in the fantastic third act...unlike Schindler's List, which kind of buckles under the heavy onus of telling a Holocaust story without crossing the line between melodrama and drama.  It's still a great movie, but it's not perfect.  Not as perfect as The Silence of the Lambs.

First Editions

Today I picked up a first edition copy of John Updike's S.

My library wisely sells old hardcovers for $1.

My library not-so-wisely sells old first edition hardcovers for $1.

A couple of months ago I picked up a copy of Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera, which I already own in paperback, but...what the hell?  It's a first edition.

And like any other collectible, it actually only has value to me and other collectors, but I think owning first editions is cool.  

I understand that the library is happy making a buck off of a book that they probably got for free, but...why not capitalize on it more?  Granted...it's just a minor Updike, but the Marquez should be worth something, right?  Wouldn't the library benefit more by calling Sotheby's?   

Mistakes Were Made

A notice came in the mail today announcing that I had made a mistake on my income tax return forms.

Apparently, I forgot that the government owes me  300 more dollars.

Sorry, government.  My fault.  I'll try not to let it happen again.