Guest Writer: Doug Roberts - On Television

Doug Roberts is a big, bright, shining star. For the decade or so I've known him he's always been the talented one. You know, the guy who is just inexplicably good at most everything he does? Those guys are bastards, but Doug has always been different because he's so humble and generous. He's so bright that even his few short-comings are endearing. Well, as you are bound to read shortly, writing is not one of those few short-comings. I'm not surprised. He's thoughtful and the following piece is both great and small in scope with an added bit of poignancy toward the end. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention his music, which can be found here. I can't say that it's innovative in the way that TV on the Radio is, but they are almost impossible to listen to (unlike Doug). He has an uncanny feel for pop music and he writes very good songs. Give him a listen. You won't regret it and I'm sure nobody would be pisses off if you told your friends. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did. Enjoy the weekend.
-Jim

On Television by Doug Roberts

Like many other people of worth and dignity, I've watched Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. For those of you unfamiliar with the format, a contestant tries to correctly answer ten questions with the help of five school children. Sometimes the contestants are dullards, sometimes they're moderately bright... it doesn't really matter. As far as game shows go, it isn't remarkable. Jeff Foxworthy is an engaging host and helps to bring out the best and worst in his contestants. Occasionally, he also teaches proper grammar (which is a real treat).

In all honesty, I'd completely forgotten about the show until I saw it again tonight. It premiered in February of 2007 and I have no idea what's happened on the show between then and now. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the group of children had changed, as I wasn't too fond of the original cast. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd never want to hang out with a group of 5th graders in any social setting, but especially bookish nerdy ones (if only to forget about myself in my younger years). Out of the original group, there’s only one kid who made them especially hard to bear.

His name is Jacob. He's a smug ninny who flaunts his knowledge every chance he gets. Even if he's not the chosen helper for the contestant, he sneers for the camera and acts like he’s above the material. He's like Draco Malfoy but on a smaller stage, which makes his pride that much more despicable. Thankfully, this season's class doesn't have anyone nearly as bad as him. However, tonight's episode was a special "Visiting Class" episode, which meant that last season's kids were back. There were two contestants and each one picked that little buttsniffer for two questions. Always Jacob. Never not Jacob.

I know from an outsider’s perspective that it doesn’t make sense how much I hate this kid. I mean, at first glance, it really doesn’t make sense to hate any TV characters, much less child actors, but the hatred is still palpable and real. I might be able to convert the energy that this raw hate breeds into something more productive, but feelings just are. The same hate I have for smug people in real life is going to carry over for smug people in far away places. Just because we may never personally interact with someone doesn’t mean that the affections we have for them are any less real.

I think the television fills a weird space in our lives. In general, I believe people used to live in closer communities where they knew their role. However, those roles proved unequitable and people began looking elsewhere for fulfillment. As our society has slowly become more equitable, we’ve also lost the purpose that our previous bonds afforded us. As a result, we don’t know how to talk to strangers because we don’t assume we have anything in common. But with television, we get to watch all sorts of people unlike ourselves within the comfort of our homes. We can watch people and not be responsible for maintaining a relationship; we can just think and feel without the baggage (which is both a good and bad thing).

From my personal experience, television and movies are where I built the foundation of my social skills. I didn’t really talk much to people at school, but I could come home and watch shows like the Simpsons to see how people interacted. Even if I didn’t know how to engage people, Wayne Campbell could show me how to be popular with his happy-go-lucky attitude. For years, I was convinced that high school would be like Saved By the Bell (and college would be like the College Years).

Yet high school wasn’t like Saved by the Bell (nor was college like the College Years) and I lost my faith in scripted shows, though game shows maintained the same charm they always had. Game shows bring together groups of people who seem like they never left their home town and force them to interact with others for money. I guess that’s what I like about game shows the most; I feel like I’m watching ordinary people trying to make the best out of being thrust into extraordinary circumstances.

When people are put through the fire, their character comes out and people react in many different ways. Some are joyful, some are rude, and some are downright snotty. The great thing about TV is that even if you don’t interact with the rest of the world, you can get a window into other people’s lives and see how others treat each other. Because of TV, I’ve learned (or was reminded) that I hate kids like Jacob. Maybe I can use that knowledge with other people and maybe I can’t, but at least in this case I can change the channel if I don’t like him.