Guest Writer: Unsung Heroes of the White House by Katie Baynor

I've known Katie for a while and when I figured on starting this blog on the first week of July, I knew she'd be perfect as the inaugural guest writer. She is, in my eyes, a cynical patriot...or maybe a patriotic cynic, but her love for this country runs deeper and stronger than anybody I know. Our generation could use about a thousand more people like her: maybe we'd get this country back to where it belongs. Where some may see cynicism as a dark pall on the American spirit, I see it as an efulgent beacon, guiding us through the dark waters of the shameful politicking we are so familiar with in post-9/11 America to the solid ground that sustained our forefathers: where common sense and decency are more important than that almighty buck. Who better to write this entry on our nation's birthday (in this time when mediocrity holds sway) than her? So now I graciously and proudly give you our first guest writer: Ms. Katie Baynor. Happy birthday America.


Unsung Heroes of the White House

Everyone has heard of Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson. No one remembers Harrison, Buchanan, or Coolidge. Many of our nation’s presidents have had interesting habits and idiosyncrasies no one has even heard of.

Therefore, in honor of our nation’s birthday, I proudly present Unsung Heroes of the White House.

William Henry Harrison: Father of the Constitutional Crisis

Harrison died after 31 days in office. Most people believe that he caught a cold as a result of giving a two-hour long inaugural address in freezing rain. However, Harrison didn’t become ill for nearly three weeks after his inauguration. Lack of rest due to the nonstop requests of office-seekers under the patronage system caused his cold to develop into pneumonia. Doctors attempted to cure him by administering opium, castor oil, and snake venom, which, surprisingly, caused him to become delirious. He died of acute pneumonia and septicemia nine days after becoming sick.

Harrison’s death caused a strange event: three presidents served in a single year. Martin Van Buren was president at the beginning of 1841 until Harrison was sworn in, and John Tyler was sworn in after Harrison died in office. His death also revealed the problems with the presidential succession clauses in the Constitution. It was not specified whether the vice president would become president, or merely acting president, nor was it specified whether the vice president should serve the remainder of the dead president’s term. Chief Justice Taney, of Dred Scott fame, decided that if Tyler took the Oath of Office, he would in fact become president. This precedent remained in effect until Congress passed the Twenty-Fifth Amendment in 1965.

James Buchanan: Our First Gay President?

Buchanan, in addition to ignoring the approaching secession crisis and appeasing the slavery lobby, may have been a) a gold digger, b) a gay man, or c) both. Buchanan was engaged to Ann Caroline Coleman, the daughter of a wealthy iron mogul. During their engagement, Buchanan was caught up in his law firm and political machinations, and was rarely seen in public with her, which started rumors that he was only marrying her for money and seeing other women. Coleman broke off their engagement and soon after died from what her doctor called “hysteria” but was probably an overdose of laudanum.

While he was serving in Congress, for fifteen years prior to his presidency, Buchanan shared a house with his friend William Rufus King, an Alabama senator and vice president under Franklin Pierce. Andrew Jackson, known for his tolerant views of people of all types, referred to Buchanan and King as “Miss Nancy” and “Aunt Fancy,” and Aaron Brown, Buchanan’s Postmaster General, referred to King as “Buchanan’s better half.” Contemporary press at the time also speculated about Buchanan and King’s relationship. Modern authors have argued that King, being from Alabama, may have been responsible for Buchanan’s views on slavery. Buchanan remains the only president to never marry.

Calvin Coolidge: Silent Cal Liked It Rough

Coolidge was president when my grandfather was born in 1924, so I’ve always had a little interest in him. Everyone knows the famous Dorothy Parker dinner party anecdote: She sat next to him at dinner and informed him that she had a bet that she would be able to get him to say more than two words. He looked at her and deadpanned, “You lose.” Silent Cal was in fact a gifted public speaker, but at Washington social functions usually appeared uncomfortable and spoke very little.

Coolidge got his White House exercise in a very unique way. He had a mechanical bull installed in his dressing room. At that time, it was apparently called an “electric exercise horse,” but … yeah. It was a mechanical bull. He rode it every morning for a warm-up before his morning walk. After his morning walk, he ate breakfast with his wife. While he was eating breakfast, he liked to have his head massaged with Vaseline, according to many fine internet sources. Though, after the mechanical bull, I’m rather inclined to believe just about anything.

Coolidge, like some of our more recent presidents, was also a big fan of sleeping. He was known to sleep for up to 11 hours a day. While attending a Marx Brothers show in Washington, Groucho paused during the performance and addressed the president directly by asking, “Isn’t it past your bedtime, Calvin?” Coolidge was also known to take naps on the couch in the Oval Office.

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The American presidency is a treasure trove of these little known statesmen. As another commander-in-chief recedes into the pages of history, take some time this Independence Day to salute the Coolidges and Buchanans, right along with the Washingtons and Jeffersons. After all, without all the mediocre leaders out there, how will we be able to tell who the good ones are?